Bearable
by Crazyfangirl23
Summary: Effie tries to find a way to avoid it, but has to tell Haymitch.


**Just a Hayffie Drabble. Sorry if it's cheesy or anything I tried my best with it.**

Bearable

How? How did this happen? How could've it happened? Oh right...they had had sex.

She definitely hadn't seen it coming; she wondered what Haymitch would think.

Would he be moody? Would he argue with her? Tell her it's the best thing that's ever happened to him? Laugh and cry at the same time?

She leaned over the toilet bowl, her hair straggly, her make-up run down her face like watercolours in the rain. She flushed it finally, hand to her belly. She was going to be huge. God, if only they could've turned back time.

That tequila. They'd had sex plenty times before, but that night Haymitch had been dragged to a club by Chaff, and Haymitch dragged herself along with him. Shots, pints, cocktails and that lousy tequila. That night was probably one of the best nights ever. She remembered stumbling back with Haymitch, crashing into bed. Gosh, that had been one long night.

She wasn't prepared for this. It was inevitable, yet she wished it wasn't. If Haymitch came back in a good mood, she'd have to tell him. As soon as possible. She went back to bed, feeling sick and wretched with herself.

Still, she had no regrets that night. It was definitely one of the best. But if she hadn't gotten herself drunk, she could've kept it a little more under control.

Or maybe it wasn't alcohol. This was Haymitch, and he was forever in a drunken state, and a sexual one at that. Maybe she had just lost control...

Her head hurt from thinking too much, and it didn't really matter how it had happened after all now. There was no going back, only forward.

She must've slept for the duration of the afternoon, because when she woke it was four. Haymitch would be back around six-thirty. If he hadn't already gone drinking first.

Her cravings instantly lead her to chocolate, a substance she craved regularly regardless of her current state, but mostly avoided. She knew that even if she didn't tell Haymitch, he'd probably notice her sickness and her sudden binge eating. Unless he was sick and binge drinking himself. She ran back to the toilet, throwing up what was probably lunch and chocolate combined. The sour smell made her gag and vomit once more. Once she walked out she picked up the phone.

'Katniss? I-I need help. I need someone to t-talk to.'

Within five minutes, Katniss was sitting down opposite her, cup of tea in her hands.

'What's been going on Effie?'

She knew Katniss had been through it already twice. Her daughter and son were the most adorable children, but she just didn't think of having her own as a good idea. She only thought of little babies running around with purple wigs and drinking problems. Still, even though Katniss and Peeta's children called her Grandma and Haymitch Grandpa, (which she hated being reminded of), they were still adorable. But she just couldn't bring herself to imagine it.

'Haymitch isn't going to be happy Katniss.'

'Why? What've you done wrong? Taken his liquor stash away from him?'

She sipped her tea, looking half-amused.

'No, it's something worse.'

Katniss withdrew from her cup, looking at Effie's pale face and the sight of her quivering frame. She had noticed the hand that was laying tentatively across her stomach.

She gasped, eyes wide. 'Effie, that's...that's great news! Haymitch will be so pleased!'

Effie shook her head in disagreement.

'No. He's going to hate it. Hate me. We're not even capable of taking care of each other, let alone a baby.'

'Yes you will be. I wasn't either; I remember Peeta being a complete mess. He used to rush around, doing everything he could to try help. It was funny seeing him like that.'

'But this is Haymitch we're talking about. He's drinking nearly every night and I...I don't know, I'm just not cut out to raise a baby. If I'm going to have it, Haymitch will have to be there for me, and I just can't see him doing that, looking after the baby while I'm at work in the mornings, or even I trying to stop it from crying, waiting for Haymitch to come home at twelve o'clock at night. We're too irresponsible. I know something would go wrong the minute I found out.'

'Oh come on Effie, cut yourself some slack. Haymitch might be intoxicated up to his eyeballs every night but he's still clever and capable to certain degrees at least. I think it would help the both of you. You'd make great parents.'

Effie wiped the tear from her eye.

'Thanks. But I just don't know what to do.'

'You need to tell Haymitch. You need to tell him tonight, regardless of what mood he's in.'

'I...I don't want to.'

'He's going to find out soon enough; he might be drunk but he's not stupid.'

'I know...I just...don't think I'll be able to cope without him.'

Katniss patted her shoulder. 'Everything will be alright.' She reassured.

They began to talk of jobs, Katniss' job she had just come from, and Effie's in the morning. And then onto their partners.

A knock came from the door. It was Peeta.

'Oh, hi Peeta.' She said, opening the door.

'Hi Peeta. Did you get let off early?'

Katniss asked her husband.

'No, just needed to get some blueprints. You weren't at home so I assumed you were here.'

'Yeah, I came after work. Have you checked on the kids?'

'Yeah they're fine.'

'So, did you get the blueprints?'

'Yeah.' He said, holding up a big blue piece of paper rolled up.

'So why are you here then?' She laughed incredulously.

'I wanted to see you.'

'Awww.' She replied, wrapping his arms around his neck. She kissed him, and Effie watched jealously at how they clearly showed signs of adoration and passion for each other. She couldn't remember the last time Haymitch looked at her the way Peeta looked at Katniss.

'Well, uh, I best be off. I'll see you later Effie. See you back at home Katniss.' With another kiss to his wife's lips, he left, blueprints in hand.

'He's such a cutie that way. Always wanting to be wherever I go.' She laughed.

Effie wanted to say something positive about her and Haymitch's relationship, but she couldn't think of anything. That, except sex of course.

Katniss left at around six, saying she better get back before Peeta, and cook dinner.

When she hugged her at the doorstep, she whispered. 'Everything's going to be alright. Tell Haymitch.' With a reassuring smile, she departed, and Effie was grateful she had called upon her company. She didn't know what she would be doing if not.

Her mind a little nervous still about confronting Haymitch, she eased her mind by relaxing and eating a little more.

Six-thirty came and went, and Effie was almost positive he had gone drinking.

However, she was proved wrong, when the door opened and in came Haymitch. He slammed the door shut, before en routing to the kitchen to get alcohol. His face was mad, his aura radiating anger. Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell him. He went straight to their bedroom, slamming the door after him, without a greeting or even recognition that she was there. She sighed. Even by her husband she went unnoticed. She nervously tiptoed her way to their bedroom, opening the door to see Haymitch furiously attacking his shoe.

'Haymitch, what's the matter?' She asked.

No reply, just wrenching his shoe of his feet. He sat back, lying down in the bed.

'I just didn't have a good day Eff.'

He said blandly.

'You could've at least said hello.'

'I'm angry can't you see sweetheart?!'

'I don't care if you're angry. You could've just had the decency to stop and say hello to your wife.'

'Why should I? Is it a custom? I don't care right now Effie. All I care about now is alcohol, and sleep. I don't want any nagging. I've had enough of that today to make even you proud. So, just leave me alone so I can curse and drink.'

'Thats all you care about! You don't care about anything else?'

'No, I don't right now.'

'You don't care about me or our relationship, friends-'

'Effie, I said not now! Don't make this about you. I've had enough of it.'

'I'm not making this about me! I'm making this about our relationship!'

'I don't give a damn about out relationship right now Effie!' He shouted.

Effie took a step back.

Haymitch sighed. 'Could you please...just leave me alone. I don't want anything else. I don't want food or anyone right now. I just want to be alone.'

'You think your alone? I've always been here Haymitch! You can't just tell me what's bothering you so we don't end up arguing? I'm sick and tired of all the arguments Hay! I don't what to argue, I just want to be-'

She cut off, her eyes widening. Her cheeks bulged, gone pale. Haymitch sat up, eyes wide too. She rushed out of the room and into the bathroom.

She threw up violently, cursing her wretched throat. The taste felt horrible, and the smell was acrid.

Haymitch appeared at the door.

'Effie, are you alright?' He said, his voice full of concern. For once.

'I-I'm fine. Just...don't come in here. Please.'

She grasped the edge of the toilet seat, retching into it, tears pouring down her face.

'I'm sorry about what I said Effie. I was just mad.'

'You're always mad. And you always take it out on me.' She retched.

'I know. I'm sorry.'

'I don't think it's good enough, considering how I feel.'

'How do you feel?'

'Disconnected from you. You never actually look at me like you love me, just like I'm a plaything that doesn't matter much. I'm jealous Hay. I'm jealous of what Katniss and Peeta have.'

He walked in, crouching by her side, rubbing a hand on her shoulder protectively.

'I know. And I am really sorry. I do love you, I do, it's just I get caught up in-'

'Foulness, and alcohol and anger.'

'Exactly.' He said, and she thought she could sense a smile in his words. He continued to rub her back supportively.

'So, why are you suddenly sick? Because you look-you look unhealthy and unwell princess.'

She shook her head.

'I-it's nothing.' She said, retching again. Haymitch got her some water and returned saying. 'I've never seen you be sick that much. What's up?' He said, crouching to her level again.

'I'm not telling you.'

'Please.' He whispered, 'I want to help you. I know I haven't been much help lately but...please tell me. I love you, please tell me what's wrong.'

His words caught her. She felt his hands caress her back, and she longed for him to touch her, look at her with love and affection.

'Show me your face.' She said.

Haymitch turned round, confused.

His eyes were deep with concern, and she resisted stroking his unruly stubble. He looked genuinely like he wanted to help. As for love...well...

'Please...don't hate me Haymitch. Please...don't get mad.'

'I won't get angry at you this time sweetheart. I've already said I'm sorry. And I love you.'

It was those four words on the end of his sentence that made her say it.

She leaned her head close to his.

'I'm pregnant.' She whispered. Silence. She couldn't tell if it meant shock or anger.

'Effie...' He said, stroking her hair.

'Thats...the best news I've ever heard.' She was shocked, her eyes widening. 'Is it?'

'Yes princess. The best.' And with that, he picked her up and swung her in the air. She could still feel the muscles that hid beneath his skin. He put her down, and kissed her. Not the sexy, passionate kind, but the one that told her that he truly cared, that he was happy and he loved her.

'That's so great Effie! Why on earth would you think I'd hate you?'

'I...I guess you were...you were kind of ignoring me, going out drinking every night. The lack of closeness between us.'

He nodded, unsure of whether to reply with an answer to that.

'When did it...when did it happen?'

'Last week. One too many tequilas and liquor all over your face.'

He laughed. 'Oh, yeah. I'd almost forgotten that night. It was one of the best.'

'It was for me too. And it resulted in this.'

She looked down at her stomach, her blonde hair hanging forward.

'This is amazing sweetheart.'

She nodded.

'Do you think we'll be able to cope?'

'Yeah. We'll manage it. But now, let's go eat some dinner, if you feel...if you feel alright.'

She nodded in agreement. 'Yeah. That would be good.'

She looked back up at Haymitch, who was already staring at her. She wasn't jealous of Katniss anymore. She wasn't jealous of anyone, because the way he looked at her made her heart flutter and skip in unison.

'I love you as much as I hate you.' She said, the old expression they had used to define their relationship returning to her vocabulary.

'I love you as much as I hate you too.' He replied back, and he kissed her. Her arms swung round his neck, and she was so grateful to have Haymitch.

The next day, Effie woke up to Haymitch by her side, almost cradling her. They had eaten and then gone straight to bed last night, wrapped in each other's arms. She smiled.

'Morning sweetheart.'

'Morning yourself Hay.'

She put them in the oven, quite proud of how they'd turned out. She had always loved baking, especially like Peeta, although she couldn't do all the things he could do with a cake and icing sugar. Still, she guessed she was good enough. As she stood back up she felt a strong pair of arms wrap round her.

'Been baking have you?'

'Yes, I have.'

He spun her around to kiss her, ending up putting her on the counter, undoing her corset while fumbling around with his belt. He picked her back up and deposited her on the sofa, a grin in his face and his eyes.

He straddled her, and wrapped her more securely in her arms, never letting go. She giggled, and with a final kiss he pulled away from here.

'Better check those cakes.' He said.

'Yeah. And if they're burnt, it's your fault.'

She said sassily back at him. She checked them, and they were perfect. She turned round to see Haymitch standing behind her, hand to her stomach.

'You're going to be a great mother.' He said quietly. She looked down at her feet, unsure of what to say, so she kissed him instead.

'Better think up some names.' He said.

'Mahogany?' She suggested. He laughed. 'What about Sol? Or Sherry? Spirit? Tequila?'

She laughed, 'we're most certainly not going to name our child after alcohol.'

'Fine.'

They joked and laughed the rest of the day, things becoming like they used too, even better. And she knew, that her pregnancy was going to be bearable; because she had Haymitch by her side.


End file.
